Category Archives: social

Planet Hell, Unearthed.

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as a child i was always fascinated by two things or one can say two questions. 1)Are we alone in this universe? and 2)Why is it so damn hot!,all the time?

After years and years of deliberation with priests, scientists and fancy jobs alike. I realized that I can not take these two questions in isolation. Then I found ‘The Answer’. I have an idea, an idea so controversial that if Dan brown found about this Tom hanks will return as Robert Langdon , an idea so polemical that if any one in the parish gets to know about this, I shall be done. Thank god! I have an anonymous blog that very few have the time to read.

So, The question arises what is this idea?

Here it is (Drum-rolls)…What if earth is the hell of some another planet!!

Think about it, we can not be alone in this universe, we have so many galaxies and there has to be at least one planet that has the atmosphere like us. There has to be at least one other planet with life on it. and I’m not alone who is thinking this I have the support of millions of star wars nerds  and alien conspiracy junkies.The question is not where are we going to find it but when are we going to find it?.

Now on the second part, about the destroying of earth. This not only includes The global warming, The exploitation of resources,The Deforestation etc but also includes terrorism and wars which are slowly but steadily destroying the earth in its physical form and its spirituality by eroding the value system of earthlings.

Now is the time for the EXPLANATION:

As the story goes, Earth was once a beautiful place, some of it still is- The Mountains(or whatever is left of them). Earth once was a harmonious place, some of it still is- The Mountains. Then arrive us : The Dudes. And The Dudes did what they do best, they set on their motorcycles and rode all over the earth, leveling each and everything that came in their way without knowing the consequences.But some of the Dudes realized their mistake and formed their own clan,to stop the dudes, lets call them The Geeks.The Geeks started to educate the Dudes about the evils of their doings and were successful in converting few dudes into geeks. But as the old prophecy goes “If one falls, more will rise” The Dudes always outnumbered The Geeks.

Now years have passed the geeks are still fighting with the dudes. But as the geeks are, insubstantial and feeble the only thing they can do is watch the Dudes with horror and pain, as they destroy their home with their own hands. Converting this resourceful mass into a colossal piece of impotent land or The Hell.

And all those martians, which do not perform their chores or are not law abiding citizens are reincarnated here as either The Dudes or The Geeks and suffer through Hell by watching this beautiful planet becoming , well, Hell.

Dairy of a CERNtified nerd

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12:15 am

wohoo!!

yes!

yes! I did it…we did it!

1:00 am

today is the happiest day of my life….

i cant remember how many times i have dreamt of this..

40 years of planning ,4 years of relentless experimentation and analysis by numerous scientists and a billion dollar investment finally paid off…(Status updated)

1:30 am

had a glass of champagne with colleagues. Feeling dizzy…going to bed.

6:30  am

just woke up,need to look good…going to hit the gym…

7:15 am

all cleaned up!! nothing like a good hot bath after a sweaty session…

9:50 am

off the phone from grandma…told her…we have found ‘the’ particle, the creator of universe,’the god particle’,,she replyed that she had found god since she was little and      “one day he will knock some sense in me too”….oh! grandma you beautiful,chubby, stupid old woman.

10:00 am

my photo is in the papers…whoopee!! 🙂

2:15 pm

Hungry!…going for lunch may be Italian.

2:30 pm

Old man across the table reading the newspaper…(Hi there!)

4:30pm

was briefing the old man about our latest achievement and what does it mean to science, he left in the midway 😦 , looked rather pale. oh shit…omg!! oh my god!!… The old man collapsed….Somebody plz help him!!! HELP HELP…why the hell I’m writing this (when i shd be yelling!!)

7:00 pm

BORED..nothing to do..shdn’t have taken the day off.. 😦

8:00 pm

going to get some dinner… will avoid spaghetti kitchen 😦

9:30 pm

returned from dinner…told a beautiful women what hav i achieved,seemed impressed…her stupid kid thought we were talking abt Higg’s ‘bosom’…laughed…hehehe..that was funny

10:00 pm

Ooh!  CSI:Geneva is on!

12:00 am

WOW!!! just checked fb…

11 likes and 6 comments on my status….This is the happiest day of my life 🙂

Poor country’s affluent gods

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I have been to several temples in my short life and apart from many other things that are similar between them, the one thing that really caught my eye was the sight of little children standing beside the big yellow rusty trunks very aptly titled daan peti(donation box) with their hands facing heavens, pressed against their chests waiting to get their share of the grace.And being god’s most gracious creation we have made sure that all of them are overflowing while the hands remains boney, dirty and empty.

one can understand the pleasure in watching the disappointment that creeps up on the young wrinkled faces when the bhkat (devotee) slips one hand in the pocket and takes out a10 or 100 rupee note,while a young poorly built excuse for a little kid,who has been on a forced hunger strike since its birth,watches him with its twinkling beady eyes in anticipation that maybe he is the Messiah that it is he who will end their famine, in the mean while he drops the money in the donation box. As the devotee bangs slightly on the opening to make sure that the money goes right in,the excuse moves on in search of its messiah.

but one also needs to understand the sentiments of the bhakts who have covered hundreds of miles to visit these shrines so that they can give a little part of their earnings as a tribute to the almighty,thanking him for his kindness.While these soiled tiny skeletons disturb them in their rituals,doing shameful unholy things in such sacred places.But… little did they know that for these little excuses god lies in food .

while we relentlessly try to impress the guy who we very fondly called the creator of everything with money, we constantly over look its most beautiful creation…children.

although I’m afraid of getting smite by the almighty for questioning his methods, all of this does make me wonder about this poor country and its affluent gods… but what the hell do i know i m just a kid who lives at home.